Serenity Prayer

I propose a new version of the wonderful Serenity Prayer: 

“Develop serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” 

I replaced “God grant me” or “Grant me” with “Develop.” Here’s why. Serenity, courage, and knowing the difference between things I can and cannot change require learning through study, contemplation, practice, and experience – they are not granted.

Background

American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr wrote the Serenity Prayer in 1932, used it in a sermon in 1943, first published it in 1951, and in 1955 it appeared in Alcoholics Anonymous publications. It has been widely used in addiction recovery, psychotherapy, posters, and medallions ever since.

Focusing on things within our control is a key feature of modern mental health therapy techniques. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) was developed in the 1960s & 70s by Aaron Beck, Albert Ellis, and others. CBT techniques are applied to irrational beliefs and cognitive distortions, such as control and fairness fallacies. Control fallacies are distorted thoughts about things that happen due to external forces or due to your own actions. The distortion involves assigning them incorrectly.  Fairness fallacies afflict those who are overly concerned about fairness. The person who goes through life looking for fairness in all their experiences may end up resentful and unhappy.  But as as we all know, life is not always fair. Sometimes things go our way, and sometimes they don’t, regardless of how fair it may seem. Similarly, Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches us to accept not only our circumstances, but also our feelings about them. Then focus on things within our control and act accordingly. Along these lines you will also find mindfulness meditation practices.

Steven Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (1989) covers the circle of concern and the circle of influence, with ideas on how to expand the circle of influence. Others have added a circle of control. Covey mentions things under our direct control, indirect control, and no control. In any event, it is wise to recognize that even though the Serenity Prayer is presented as a simple dichotomy (things we can or cannot control), our ability to control things vary by degree. So our developed wisdom is our guide.

All these ideas can be traced back 2000 years to stoic philosophers Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca, and others in ancient Greece and Rome.

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control." – Epictetus, Discourses, 2.5.5-5

“Some things are in our control, while others are not. We control our opinion, choice, desire, aversion, and, in a word, everything of our own doing. We don’t control our body, property, reputation, position, and, in a word, everything not of our own doing.”  ― Epictetus, Enchiridion, 1.1-2

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“Floods will rob us of one thing, fire of another. These are conditions of our existence which we cannot change. What we can do is adopt a noble spirit, such a spirit as befits a good man, so that we may bear up bravely under all that fortune sends us and bring our wills into tune with nature’s.” – Seneca, Letters from a Stoic

My wife Laura is my favorite stoic. Without going into great detail, she has overcome more than her fair share of tragedy. I often hear her say, “You know what? That is beyond my control so I might as well just get on with it.”  The day after the Harpeth River flooded our house in 2010, she put on her “WHATEVER” T-shirt and got to work cleaning up.

“May have to do it. Don’t have to like it.” - Song written by Mike Stinson, performed by Jesse Dayton

“You don’t have to like it. You just have to do it.” - Navy SEAL Training

On Race

Writing about race is hard. I am doing it with good intentions. It is to carve out a place for treating all people well while not having other people’s beliefs imposed upon me.

Leftists find a willing accomplice in the well-meaning anti-racist, those who think racism is systemic are too easily persuaded that the way to fix racism is to dismantle the system. All the socialist has to do is whisper “capitalism is racist.” All the anarchist has to do is shout “policing is racist.” All the communist has to say is “democracy is racist.” If they go on to say “science is racist, reason is racist” then, if they get their way, the Enlightenment is over and it is back to superstitions of the Dark Ages. Don’t fall for it. Instead ask, “OK, after we dismantle the system, then what?

Of course black lives matter, lower case. The trouble is woke leftists overran Black Lives Matter, the organization. From the BLM website what-we-believe page: "engage comrades," "dismantle cisgender privilege and uplift Black trans folk, especially Black trans women," "dismantle the patriarchal practice," "disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure." Fortunately that page was removed. But what remains on the site has the same font as communist propaganda. Coincidence? 

Those are concerns about the extreme Left. But even moderate incarnations like diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) programs are troubling. And the trouble is including race as a criteria for decision-making, such as hiring, promotions, college acceptance, and supplier selection (I work in purchasing). That’s because race is superficial. It is only skin deep. It is unrelated to merit.

“I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” ~ MLK from his “I have a dream” speech

At least that's how I was raised. As a result I try and usually succeed in treating everyone respectfully. When I don’t succeed it might not even be related to race, despite what unconscious bias training programs might say. When we strive to be color-blind we exclude race from decision-making, whereas DEI programs seek to bring race into play. When a characteristic unrelated to merit is brought into decision-making, merit can suffer as a trade-off.  Also being challenged are enlightenment values like reason, objectivity, and the scientific method by "other ways of knowing," "indigenous folk science," "lived experience," and "my truth." When merit, science, and truth are undermined, outcomes deteriorate.

Yes, writing about race is hard. Time to give it a rest!

Presumption of Innocence and Woke Cancel Culture

There is a principle in criminal law called the Blackstone Ratio, which says "It is better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer." This liberal principle is an expression of the Presumption of Innocence, which is enshrined in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. 

Article 11.(1) Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defence. 

Not all people in history have agreed with this sentiment, however. Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh said "Better ten innocent deaths than one enemy survivor." 

These are statements about the perceived costs of false positives (identifying an innocent person as guilty) versus the costs of false negatives (identifying a guilty person as innocent).   On one end we have people valuing freedom on the other those who value purity. Leftism as expressed through woke cancel culture is currently moving towards purity by neglecting false positives. Increasingly it seems the prevailing view is that it's better to accuse 10 innocent people of racism than to miss one. It's better 10 innocent men get wrongly accused and fired than for one sexual predator to not. Better to have 10 innocent shunned than one enemy among our midst. This is moving us to a place where people excessively censor and self-censor, which impairs productive dialogue. This outcome is an inevitable consequence of costless false positives. There is almost no cost to identifying an innocent person as a bigot. Not only can it not be proven wrong, the only time accusations backfire is in the form of lawsuits for libel, defamation, or wrongful dismissal, which are costly and rare.

One way to counter this impulse is to impose social costs on dubious accusations. People should be criticized for accusing innocent people. Innocence here does not have to be proven; it is to be presumed. If someone cannot support their accusation, they are to be countered for inaccurate bigotry detection and for toying with peoples’ reputations. But innocence is not presumed if certain categories of people are said to be inherent oppressors and that systemic racism permeates society. That’s the rub.

The Presumption of Innocence comes into play in other arenas. Consider argumentation. Best practice includes giving your interlocutor the benefit of the doubt. Have a charitable view of her motivations. When summarizing her position, build a steel-man not a straw-man. Do it so even she agrees with your representation of her views. Tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner. To understand is to forgive. In contrast, the calls for justice by social justice activists sometimes sound shrill, more like vengence. Social Vengence!

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Journalist Andrew Sullivan described two steps to get back on track. First, get Trump out to quell extremism on the right. Complete. Second is to pivot and confront the leftist, woke, critical race activists that Biden will enable. On his first day in office, Biden signed an executive order reinstating critical race theory training for government employees. He also prioritizes ending systemic racism – an inherently elusive goal. Now both chambers of Congress are Democrat majorities, allowing woke infiltration into government, academia, and corporations to continue unabated. It will be interesting to see if pundits Sullivan, Joe Rogan, Sam Harris, Michael Shermer, even Tucker Carlson will have any dampening effect.  Meanwhile Christopher Rufo, who penned Trump’s ban on critical race theory in government training, is forming “a new coalition of law firms and legal foundation with the explicit goal of fighting critical race theory in the courts.” And Helen Pluckrose launched Counterweight to help people resist the imposition of critical social justice on their everyday lives. We will see how it all plays out.

Maybe in another post I will articulate my objections to critical social justice, woke ideology, diversity/equity/inclusion programs, and so on.

Braver Angels

I attended an online workshop put on by Braver Angels (https://braverangels.org), an organization that seeks to depolarize American politics. The workshop is called Depolarizing Within: Becoming a Better Angel in Your Own World. It teaches you how to find your own polarizing speech even when talking with like-minded people. It called out 4 markers of polarization: stereotyping, dismissing, ridiculing, and contempt. That’s when it hit me. Those are also characteristics we warn against as being bigoted. Polarization and bigotry both show a lack of respect for the “other,” for those people, for people who are different.